In talking about courage and fear re: men vs. women, their is a different basic reality. Rape/sexual violence is an ever present specter in most woman’s lives. It colors their everyday reality. Women live with the knowledge that they could inadvertenly walk into something that they will not escape from physically or emotionally unscathed. That reality just does not live in men’s live. Now some men come to know, e.g. in prison, or after being a crime victim, but its spectre does not exist UNTIL it has already happened to you. Absent direct experience it is not present in men’s lives.

Many men have an alternate experience, e.g. football or boxing or hockey or the like. Personally, playing football, I learned that I could take some unbelievable hits, just get totally levelled, shake it off and do it to him on the next play.

As I get older, and for lack of a better word, more frail, I am more aware of the female perspective. Whether from physical assault or my own body failing me I am at more risk than I was 5 or 10 years ago. There are hits I will not get up from. That is a new reality.

Back to the discussion. So a man walking into a dungeon with a Domme, even one completely unknown, starts with every expectation that he will come out alright – maybe some bruises but fundamentally alright. Paradoxically, that baseline knowledge does not eliminate the “courage” aspect of submission. In a recent scene when getting fucked by BAM, a humongous cock, when I felt it literally pushing against my pelvic bones from the INSIDE, and I could feel sensation shooting down my sciatic nerves on both sides, I new that I was taking a real risk. Similarly the first time getting fisted by a Domme that wears a large glove, I viscerally knew that I was taking a risk of going beyond the elasticity of my tissue. I fully trusted her, but that knowledge was constantly running through my brain.

There is a significant component of courage in some BDSM play. The level of trust I place in certain Dommes is also unbelievable.

More directly germane to the podcast – an exegesis of Mistress Troy’s ribald confession of Her Whoriness.

http://desparatelyseekingsurrender.blogspot.com/2010/01/dommes-back-door-shes-scrabble-whore.html

wlyb?!

bl

[That's 'who loves 'ya baby' which Kojak used as both a question and a statement.]

P.S. Axe, i’ve been involved in the ‘free culture movement’, blogged in Larry Lessig’s house, yet i just blogged on Google owned blogger. i need help and it has to be free .

You made my head explode. Ayla’s use of ‘sacred’ got me started. The project has gotten large. A mild tidbit from one of my vanilla blogs:

http://bit.ly/7VMB5C

Ayla’s use of ‘sacred’ is more specific, but not unrelated.

i’ve followed ‘Whether You Like It or Not’ and ‘Unspeakable Axe’ for quite some time, but now i have two more blogs to follow. Was it Jalapeno or Habenero?

i suspect that part of the reason that the Dominant Roundtable went so well is the thoughtful exchange Y’all have had through Y/your blogs. My own scene blog has been nearly still born for a couple of years. You have encouraged me to bring it to life.

i like the idea of hearing more from the 4 hours but the segment length of the current podcast is about right. As Axe pointed out, some parts just have to be listened to over and over and over again.

bl

I hope you’ll consider doing a Part II and beyond with the 3 hours of recordings you have left.

Whizzer

Also, I’d like to speak up for dominant men: I am one (as well as a feminist, go figure), and I try things for myself first: how hot is the candle wax, how does that flogger feel, etc. The first human I put needles into was myself.

The reason why I wouldn’t hire a prostitute is exactly what one of the ladies described (sorry, not sure which one was it) – I wouldn’t know whether the prostitute was really into it.

And I wouldn’t top my own clone – I am not a good bottom. I need to be in control, even on the receiving end. It wouldn’t end well.

Can you tell I liked the episode? I did