For your amusement (and for your information), I present the twentieth installment in Dumb Domme’s BDSM Lexicon, “subspace.”
View all past entries here.
subspace, n., /‘sʌbspeɪs/ (IPA) [suhb-speys] (spelled)
Definition:
subspace, n.: The space where you put your sub when you’re not using him.
Definition (Alternate):
subspace, n.: A state of euphoria, psychological separation, and/or hypo/hypersensitivity sometimes experienced by bottoms during BDSM play, often characterized by incoherence, pleasurable detachment, and/or uncharacteristically high pain tolerance.
Usage:
“Because of the sandy soil here in the south, we don’t have basements, so I’ll have to find some other subspace for storing J when I’m not using him. Maybe I’ll keep him in a closet in one of the spare bedrooms.”
“I was so proud of myself for getting J into subspace… until I realized he was just drunk. Then I felt stupid.”
Explanation:
During BDSM play, when you’re beating the fuck out of your sub–either physically or mentally abusing him–he’ll probably have some sort of endorphin rush. The rush and subsequent exhaustion is “subspace.”
Subspace isn’t just simply a result of physical pain though–it’s often about extremes–extreme pain and pleasure, extreme sensation, extreme emotions, trust, etc.
Of course, everyone is different, so people require different things to get into subspace and describe the experience in wildly different ways.
Does Dumb Domme?:
Have I ever been in subspace? Hell. No. The idea of being submissive–of giving myself over to a top–it squicks me to the core. You want me to bottom? You’d have to catch me first.
Have I ever put a sub into subspace? I dunno. J gets “subspacey” (his word, not mine)–he starts to babble, beg, and generally, he gets sluttier than normal. I like him that way (when he isn’t drunk). Plus, he gets all sweet and cuddly afterwards, which I enjoy because we aren’t typically the cuddly type.
When he’s coming down from whatever-it-is, I try my best to provide “aftercare,” making sure he’s physically and emotionally uninjured, and letting him know he’s owned and appreciated (though I have failed).
While I consider getting J into subspace a personal goal, sometimes I wish he’d just snap out of it and go make me a sandwich. Topping is a hell of a lot of work…
works consulted: wikipedia• reading stuff • drunken sub • failure
Topping is hard. I'm sure I'd panic if SwingBot went into subspace. What a lovely scene that would be.
SB:
Hmm mmm mmm. All happy, on endorphin highs… yum yum yum.
Me:
OMIGOD R U OK? Snap out of it! Talk to me! Talk to me!
SB:
Whu..? Dammit, now my happy is gone.
@WBW: I've totally done that!
"Are you okay? Are you sure you're okay? You don't look okay… are you okay? No, seriously… ARE YOU OKAY?!?!"
I am the killer of happy. Oh yes.
I just discovered your blog yesterday and have been held captive by it almost nonstop since. I love the way you share your adventures – your phrasing and your deliciously twisted mind are wonderful to behold. I’ve been ‘vanilla dating’ almost exclusively for several years now, without feeling I was missing too much. But your musings about subspace have put me in a tizzy of craving.
@tristans: Thank you so much for the sweet comments!
I’ll admit, I’m curious about subspace, but not enough to try it. I’m fairly sure that I’ve experienced “top space” (or whatever it’s called), but it seems far less “dreamy” and “floaty” and more like a manic high.
As I said yesterday it’s easy to get ken into subspace & I have seen it last 10 hours. The only thing he can’t do is drive. I have seen him sing, play music & cook in subspace :-)
J gets spacy, but it takes some time and effort to get him there. Plus, I haven’t actually asked “Hey, are you in subspace?” because I’m afraid he’ll look at me like I’m nuts and say “no.” (I really hate hearing the word “no,” for a number of reasons.
So, I guess I don’t even know if I’ve gotten him there or not. The one time I was sure of it, he was drunk and I felt so stupid I could barely recover.
Have you ever asked him outright if he has been in subspace in your company? If there are particular things that get him into subspace?
I have to say I laughed when I read that he was drunk that night LOL
Squicks you to the core? In other words,you haven’t got the guts to be a sub,or even try it.If you did try it,you’d be using your safeword/gesture after about 5 minutes.Typical gutless piece of shit.Don’t suppose you even approve of Male led D/s,let alone try it. Too scared the rest of the world would find out what you already know?That you can’t take it and would show that all your “superiority” is all self deluding crap.There is so much shit coming out of your mouth,your ass is getting jealous and is practically redundant. Oh,by the way,you don’t have to be delerious from influenza to come out with gibberish garbage.This site proves that.Hope it turns out to be something better,(i.e worse) than influenza.Fatal preferably,you sexist fucking cunt.